Hillsong UxYF

Recently, I attended the Hillsong concert here in Manila. It featured Hillsong UNITED and Hillsong YOUNG & FREE.

I was so priveleged to have the chance of attending the said concert. It was a bliss.

I attended with a broken soul and a confused heart. A lot of things has been happening and I feel like I am moving away from God.

What’s the connection of my sentiment to the Hillsong concert? It is because thru them, God spoke to me in so many ways. From the lyrics of the song to the powerful message of some of the band members.

I am won by perfect love- Sinking Deep

It was the most incredible line that struck me. It was by far, the most touching to my heart out of all the 27 songs they played that night.


Because it simply implies how much Hod loves us despite our sins and transgressions. There was nothing that could save us aside from Him and His love. He is love. His grace is sufficient for us and not by the good deeds that we do, that’s why we are blessed. We are blessed because God wants us to be a blessing to others.

So that night—that night was a blast and a very soulful one. You can’t help but fall in love with Jesus everyday.


The break I needed was when I let you go.

I have been so hopelessly romantic that every single time I will be involved in a relationship, I would imagine to marry the guy I am with.

And so I’d give them everything that I can until I met you. You were so effortlessly caring. You say all the right words. You do the right things. You come when I needed someone to talk to, someone I can lean on.

But I was wrong.

You played games I am not willing to play. Spilled beans I am not ready for. You broke my heart in pieces no one can ever imagine nor fix.

It was a sport of love and I am not trained to play that well.

Because what I thought you did was real and you dropped the bomb when you said “Let us just go back to being bestfriends”.

I was beyond mad, hurt, and confused. I was broken inside and out. I wanted to beg but I realized that it was never worth it. It was never worth it from the start. It was never worth it for someone who thinks people are just toys. It was never worth it for someone who is selfish enough to satisfy his own happiness by hurting and using other people.

And when I had the courage to let you go, let all the memories go, I took a step back and turned around. When I did, it was a breathe of fresh air. It was like restoring something from ruins. It was like fixing a wrecked ship after a storm.

This entry is a break and a closure from a past that has never been cleared. I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for hurting me the way you did because someone walked into my life and proved to me that I am worthy of all the good things a woman must experience. Thank you for taking the time to go back to your hometown and leave me wondering if I am deserving because dude, you made me the happiest when you are not around. Thank you for breaking my heart in ways I wasn’t ready for because someone picked them up, threw them and replaced it with something new. Thank you.

Because it’s 2017

I’ve been hearing news and reading articles about these trending line that came right from the mouth of Ms. Nadine Lustre — I’m a fan, yes but not because I’m a fan, I will be idolizing the things she does even if it meant wrong.

I don’t hate Nadine Lustre as a person. I love her. What I don’t like is we get all the nerve to protect and fight for some belief that is wrong.

As it was said in Ecclesiastes, that God created everything beautiful in His time, let’s not rush into things that could outrun the perfect time of God just because the relationship seems so cool or perfect even. 

God is a God of perfect timing, if he allows it to happen now, everyone will see it beautifully. We are accountable to the people around us may, it be closest friends or even fans, so learn to listen. Its not that bad.

It’s just sad to know that some thought that these opinions were bashing or hating Nadine Lustre but no. I just wanted to let people know that not everything that is trending or really “good” for the world is literally good. Sometimes, we get conformed on what the world can offer but God created us to give glory to Him not to give glory to what he created and make it our god.

Let’s not forget to know the creator and to do what his word says.
Not because it’s 2017, when you feel comfortable doing something out of line, its okay. Don’t violate how God sees marriage as beautiful as it can be by living-in.
I love you, Nadz. I wish you happiness. God bless you more. 

Walk Away 💓

Hi. I’m Keem, can we talk? Yes, you!

Are you in a relationship or are you in a “no-label-relationship-but-we-are-committed-so-yeah” relationship? Hmm. Well, if you are, I hope these thoughts would help.

Have you ever been in a supermarket and you’re not sure what to buy? Or in a clothing store but not sure what to choose because you like both? Here’s the thing, darling, if you really are faithful to ypur partner, would you really have feelings for the second person in your life?

I know what you will say…

“I just got tempted”, “I can’t feel him/her”, “He/she cheated once, I guess its fair to do it also cause I’ll end it soon”, or “We don’t talk anymore” then why did you actually went in that relationship without praying for it?

It will have struggles and that’s common but you knpw what we often forget when we fall in love? It’s to pray whether is it the time and the person or not. 

If God permits and allows it and is really giving it to you for marriage, you’ll date until you marry because he will not let any man separate but if it is not God’s gift, all kind of separation method will occur just like the separation techniques in chemistry.

1. Filtration. You will start filtering chores, responsibilities, and even efforts. If one fails to do the appointed things to them, quarrel will occur.

2. Evaporation. Love will fade and it’ll just turn into vapor. It will turn to some unnamed emotions and you will suddenly feel empty and dissatisfied.

3. Magnetism. If love isn’t there, trust isn’t there, or even compassion isn’t there, you’ll get attracted to people who can give you that or people who will make you feel that. And you are already cheating.

4. Simple Distillation. From quarrels, faded love, and detachment, it’ll all bpil down to tears. You’ll collect all the pain in your heart until it will manifest into tears and hearts will exactly break right there.

You see, we tend to pursue and fight for something unhealthy and not God-given. Let us walk away from these kinds of relationship that doesn’t make us grow with Christ.

Why this Profession, Lord?

I often asked God for the past three years of why did He let me take up Education? Why am I a teacher? 

I never signed up for this. I was planning to take up journalism or architecture, but Lord, why am I an educator?

I wanted to write my fantasies downright on a piece of paper and publish my own book. I wanted to let the whole world know that in writing, we can inspire and teach a lot of readers already. That in writing, I don’t need chalks and blackboards to let them know what I’m thinking. But why am I a teacher? 

If not an author or a writer of my own fictional books, I wanted to draw. I dreamt of designing my own dream house. Actually, google was mostly used up when I’m searching for different kinds of designs and even decorations for that matter. I even drew one draft and it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to be but I’m willing to learn and study. But why am I a teacher? 

And that’s when this verse dawned upon me…

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11

I know that you’ve heard or read about this verse a lot of times but it is always true. The Word of God is true and it lasts for an eternity.

This reminded me that whatever you choose, it will always be the Lord’s will and plan for your life that will prevail. It might not be the one you wanted, the one you dreamt of but it’s always the best for you. 

I am a teacher with a purpose, with a mission. I am in this profession because God knows that I’m able to do whatever he asks me to do. I am in this profession because He knows that even if I will be having a hard time doing this along the way, He’s always there for me. I am in this profession not just because I am up for money but because I am a vessel for the lost souls. I am a teacher because God wants me to. 

Whatever profession you are in, God did not put you there because he’s challenging and testing your capabilities but because he knows that you deserve it and it is the best for you.

Consulting God on my decisions

Have you asked yourself if you were strong enough to face the trials in your life? Like not giving up?

Hmm. Let me tell you my story…

June 5, 2017

I received a call from a government school and they confirmed that I’m going to teach in their school. I am glad and shaken both at the same time. I kept thanking God because I know that He has given me too much than what I originally prayed for.

Tuesday came (June 6, 2017) and I started working as a public school teacher. My call time is 5:50am and I have to be there 5 minutes before the time to avoid getting late. Waking up at 3:45am is not an easy task compared to waking up at 5am for my previous work. It was hell of an adjustment. After several rides, I came face to face with my new home and new family and I was not glad at all. I was freaking nervous and fidgety and that was not the end yet.

When I heard that I got load of works to do and an advisory class, I just want to run to the hills and never come back. I was whispering and talking to myself like “What the hell am I doing these?” And some other curses. I wanted to cry right there and then but I realized that it was wrong to be worried, why don’t I consult God?

I went home thinking of the things I needed to say to God and ask Him for guidance and wisdom, so I did.

What He told me is…

God will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. – 1 Corinthians 1:8

Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven. Matthew 5:12

God is telling us that no matter what happens, He sees our efforts, He sees the time we devote for the mission he gave us, and most especially, He is always with us. 🙂

A lot of things will diacourage you but remember that in your weakness, God is our strength.

Alone Time

Emo, senti, drama… You call it names but in reality, we need it. 

Alone time is important.

There’s a lot of times that we thought that being alone is aloof. Being alone is not “in”. Being alone is ugly. Being alone means no one wants you. Being alone means no one wants to befriend you. Honestly, it is beautiful. Sometimes, being alone is better than being with people within the busy streets of town and chatting the day out.

As I’m not getting any younger, I realized that it’s not love that is hard to give but time. Time has always been there but we neglect the existence of it by wasting it on something so petty. I know that we all need rest and some time off but let’s do things that would make us look back someday that we could say “I love to do that again without regrets.” Something that would keep us awake at night, smiling not crying.

Alone time makes us appreciate ourselves more. It makes us reflect and evaluate ourselves. We see the value God has identified us with. When we’re alone, we take the time off from stress and paperworks. We give more time to our devotion. We give more time in managing our schedules better than planning it with someone else. For me, it gives us a break and makes us see that God can give us rest in the most unexpected forms.

It is hard to beg someone for their time. Out of their busy schedules, when people gives you even their little time, you are already labeled as important. So if ever you’ve felt that God haven’t gave you his time, think again. He wiped your tears when you were weeping, he hugged you when you needed someone to lean on to, and he even lend his ears to listen to your daily rants and comments.

I guess that’s enough reason to give Him your alone time.

Can we still go back?

There’s this song that kept playing in my head…

“I wanna go back to the way we used to be…”

As I listen to this, it reminded me of the times that I wanted to run away from God. I wanted to run away and just do whatever I wanted to. I wanted to run away where there’s no one who’s going to stop me doing the things I love, even if it doesn’t please God, I still want to run.

I know that most of us, as followers of Christ, have tried so many times to disobey God deliberately or made an attempt to do so and see what happens after. 

Will God take me back?

Am I still allowed to come home?

Would He still accept me as he did before?

These were just some of the questions I asked myself everytime I wanted to get the chains and put it back again on my own. Chains that have binded me to the pleasures of the flesh. Chains that have been long broken but I’m the one who’s trying to fix it and attach it to me again.

But out of all my disobedience, my ungodly character, my continuous resistance from time to time, I have experienced the Grace of God. I have experienced new Mercy everyday.

So, we are all sinners saved by His grace. We are always welcome with open arms, yes, but we are also disciplined by those hands not because he wanted to scare us but he wanted us to be in the zone where he strengthens us.

If you find it hard to obey, pray. If you find it hard to understand, pray. If you find it hard to resist the chains, pray. And that would be our only armor when we are bound to sin. Always go back to the time He saved you from that dark pit. Always go back to the time when He selflessly thought of you than anything else. Always go back home.

A love that never fails

A lot of people have already said to you that he’s not good for you or you’re too good to be true for him— he doesn’t deserve you and a lot more judgment than you could ever hear and imagine but maybe, they’re right. They’re right to say that he is not good enough or you are not qualified for his standards.

Most of the time, we don’t see what others see. We are blinded by the thought of “I want him and he wants me, so what should I be scared of?” or you might say that “They will not be the ones who will get into the relationship, why bother hearing what they have to say?” 

That was also me before, darling. We rush ourselves falling in love because the world sets the standard for love— we set the standard for love when in fact, God should be the only standard of love we look upon to.

He is the kind of love that never fails and never gives up. He is the kind of boyfriend that never tolerates but justifies. He is the kind of husband that never cheats nor lies. He is the perfect kind of love and that’s what we often forget— we forget that we are the King of kings’ daughters and sons, we forget that there’s this love that sacrificed Himself for you to be saved, we tend to forget that there’s a love that lasts forever and for eternity. A kind of love that never forgets.

So just be patient, waiting heart. He is not done yet with your story. He is not done yet with your walk that’s why stop worrying for love that leads to misunderstanding. Stop waiting for a love that leads to failure, rather, start hoping that this lost world will eventually experience the love that wakes you up and gives you light every morning and never leaves you when the night comes.